Remembering Cards
by Unidentified Pineapples
Summary: Shortly after Charlotte's death, Dan finds a letter tucked into his bag addressed to him. Oneshot. Charladay.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any of its characters. Grr!!**

**Author's Note: Okay, so after some great feedback from Jac Danvers, I've added a narrative about Dan finding the letter. Please let me know what you think. I'm still not too sure of it. I would love to know if you think there is anything else I should change that would make it better. Enjoy!**

It had been three hours, three painfully long hours that Dan had knelt there beside Charlotte's body, too numb to think, too numb to move. She was gone. How could she be gone? He needed her. She couldn't go yet; couldn't leave him here.

There must be something, he thought as he grabbed his bag, intent on locating his journal. There must be something he missed, something he overlooked, anything that could bring her back.

He quickly unzipped the many pockets of his pack, plunging his hand in to feel for his journal, coming up empty each time. Where was it? He couldn't quite seem to remember just where he had last placed it. He needed to remember.

Slightly frustrated, Dan began to empty his bag of the various items it held; sort of like a real life process-of-elimination. Slowly, his pack began to empty. He pulled out everything he touched: Dharma cards, the sat phone, a gun that Miles had given him before he was pushed from the helicopter, but no journal.

Finally, his hand grazed some kind of paper. Confused - the only form of paper Dan had remembered putting in his pack was the paper bound within his journal - he withdrew it from the caverns of his bag.

What was this? The folded paper he held in his hands was winkled in every direction, and the edges were slightly torn. How long had it been in here? He unfolded the paper to find a letter addressed to him, written in a familiar hand.

_Dearest Daniel,_

_I'm not quite sure how to say this, or even _why_ I am saying this. I guess I just can't stand that I'm lying to you, that I've been lying to you since we've been on this bloody boat. I suppose a letter tucked into your bag isn't the best way to tell you, but I know it won't come out right if I tell you in person. So a letter will have to do._

_I never would have suspected that you and I would have grown as close as we did on this ship. You're the person I talk to the most, and I swear you know more about me than anyone else here. I enjoy when we talk, especially at night, when no one else is around, and the only sound - apart from our voices - is that of the creaking ship. Those are fun times. And I'll never forget that first night when you came to me and asked if I would help you remember cards. That was one of the best nights I've had in quite a while._

_But I've been lying to you, Dan, and it's been eating at me for a week now (although it's felt like years). So I just have to tell you… But what will you think of me once you know the truth? I swear to you, Daniel, I'm not crazy. But I guess I'm preaching to the choir here on this one, huh? I know everyone here thinks you're a headcase; they've made it painfully clear, especially Miles. (You remember when he had that fat lip a few days after we set sail? Yeah, that was me, and he deserved it.) But I want you to know that I don't think you're a headcase. Never have._

_I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling, but this is just really difficult for me to say. So I guess I'll just say it…_

_Daniel, you know how - all your life - you've been researching the Dharma Initiative? (I'm sorry, but I know this because, last week, I read your journal. You can hate me for that later.) Well, when I was a little girl, I used to live on that island - the same island that we are currently sailing to - and I was a member of the Dharma Initiative. My mum took me off the island when I was young, but ever since, I've dreamt of going back. I don't remember much about the Initiative except that I was never allowed to wander around on my own; no one was. But I did anyway (would you honestly expect anything else of me?). And, Daniel, the island is such a beautiful place. If we ever get there, you'll see what I mean._

_That is my secret, and I hate that I've kept it from you for so long. Please forgive me, Dan. I never meant to lie, but ever since I read your journal, I couldn't bare to keep the truth from you any longer. I like you, Dan, and I enjoy your company very much. Please say you'll forgive me. If not, I'll understand. But I want you to know that my door is always open if you ever need someone to help you remember cards. I'm always here if you need me, Daniel. Don't forget that._

_Yours Always,_

_Charlotte_

Dan stared at her fluid signature for a long time, not quite sure what to think. She had wanted to tell him, had tried to tell him weeks ago. If only he'd have found this letter sooner, perhaps she would still be here, alive and talking to him now.

He reread the letter again, then finally folded it up and clutched it in his shaking hands. His eyes swimming with tears, he looked down at her motionless form and quietly whispered, "I need you now, Charlotte. Wake up. Help me remember."

But Charlotte Lewis remained motionless at his feet. She would never open her eyes, would never talk with him in the dead of night, would never help him remember again.

**Author's Note: Please please please, give me some feedback. Help me understand what I can do to make this better. Don't be afraid to tell me what you think. And on a completely different side-note, please visit my profile and vote in my poll for your favorite LOST character!! Show Dan and Charlotte some love!! Thank you. I appreciate any feedback!! Bye-bye!**


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